| scientist: | the average person spends 18 hours online per week. |
| me: | you mean per day |
| scientist: | what |
| me: | what |
send me 10 tumblr things that interest and intrigue me otherwise I will lose all faith in this site
Genesis: Chapter 3
20 And God said, “Let the waters teem with the breath of living creatures, and let birds fly above the land across the face of the expanse of heaven.” And so it was.
21 And God said, “Let there be an herb that when set ablaze and inhaled, it shall expand your mind in new and interesting ways. And I shall try this herb right now, while I am creating shit.” And so he did.
22 And God said, “Okay, so, what if… I took a beaver, right? And then gave it a duck bill. Wait, wait, I’m not done. Now… let’s make it a mammal, but have it lay eggs. Dude, this is awesome. What else? Ummm… a venomous foot would be cool. And it should waddle like a retard.” And it was so.
God giggled for 30 minutes, ate some Doritos, and fell asleep for a while.
And it was good.
(via theguywhofollows)
Introducing myself:
Shopping:
At parties:
Someone says “should of” instead of “should have”:
Someone kills a fly:
And they’ll all be like:
his wiener comes down to his knees
ho ho ho
wishful thinking by the artist
look at his duodenum it is so puny
(Source: instantjoy, via )
